"divided by 2"

i decided to call this blog "me, divided by 2," because eventually, i'd like to lose about half of my current weight. which i refuse to tell anyone, even though i've started this blog anonymously. maybe once i've lost about half of it, i'll reveal the starting weight.

anyway, i know how long a road this is going to be. i just need to think about it like this: it took 12 years to double in size, and it will NOT take 12 years to divide myself in half. it will be easier to lose than it was to gain. food and exercise don't even factor in here - those things never even mattered, they had less to do with 12 years of weight gain than you'd think. food and exercise are easy. deciding to start removing the layers that have served their purpose [don't look at me, don't touch me, don't rape me] is the hard part.

i gained because i was afraid, i was in pain, and i wanted to hide.

i am losing because i am ready, for all of the things that i've missed out on in my years of being invisible.